You can tell by the way I use my walk
September 19th, 2008 by Barb
A woman’s history of vaginal orgasm is discernible from her walk. That, believe it or not, is the title of a study published in the September issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
The study was conducted to determine if appropriately trained sexologists could infer women’s histories of vaginal orgasm solely by observing their gait. Women with known histories of either vaginal orgasm or difficulty achieving vaginal orgasm were videotaped walking on the street. Sexologists unaware of their histories judged their “orgasmic history.”
The sexologists (I feel dirty just typing that word) correctly deduced vaginal orgasm based on how the women walked more than 80 percent of the time. The researchers concluded that “[t]he discerning observer may infer women’s experience of vaginal orgasm from a gait that comprises fluidity, energy, sensuality, freedom, and absence of both flaccid and locked muscles.”
Why, you might ask, would such a thing be worth researching? Well, according to the study, “research has demonstrated the association between vaginal orgasm and better mental health. Some theories of psychotherapy assert a link between muscle blocks and disturbances of both character and sexual function.” (Um … are they equating poor mental health with character disturbances? Harsh.)
The researchers claim the study provides some support for the notion of a link between muscle blocks and sexual function. So … sexologists would watch women with mental health issues walk and, if their gaits indicate a lack of vaginal orgasms, conclude they have muscle blocks that disturb both their “character and sexual function”?
The thing is, though, an article about the study indicates the researchers are primarily interested in curing the “orgasmic dysfunction.” It reports that “[th]ey conclude that [the study] may lend credibility to the idea of incorporating training in movement, breathing and muscle patterns into the treatment of sexual dysfunction.” What about the mental health part, guys? Do you figure that vaginal orgasms alone would cure those problems?
I don’t know—it’s hard not to wonder if this was just a happy hour bet between sexologists that spun terribly out of control. Can’t you imagine that? “I’m telling you, dude, I can totally read a woman’s orgasmic history from her walk!”
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September 24th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Okay then. I would like to share my theory with the world. And it is this: You can tell how good a man is in bed by the way he dances. If he is all jumpy and tweeky, then you’ll be dealing with a spaz in bed. If he’s kind of a lazy dancer and looks around at all the other people, instead of gazing in your eyes, he’s going to be a selfish lover. If he’s all out having fun and unabashidly reeling around, he’s going to be a fun lover. If he’s black, you’re in for a treat.